1000 words

N's birthday party was on the 21st, and I handed our old reliable point and shoot camera to my father-in-law, the family artist.  The bad news is, he dropped it while the lens was extended, effectively totaling it.  The good news is, we now have a lovely Nikon D60 DSLR to replace it.  Considering how long I've been coveting the DSLRs, I've shown remarkable restraint in my photo taking.

Where has the time gone?

A year ago today, the love of my life came into the world. I never knew a baby could be so perfect - delicate and beautiful, with big, blue eyes like his father's.

He grew so quickly, though. No matter how many times you hear "enjoy it now, they grow fast", it's still a bit shocking how fast they actually do grow.

It's been so amazing watching him turn into an independent and intelligent little person. I thank whatever Gods are listening that we decided to babywear, co-sleep, and breastfeed. I wouldn't trade all the days and nights of cuddling skin to skin for anything. I know these days won't last forever, and I cherish them.

My baby is becoming a toddler. He's so close to walking, and talking, and making the leaps and bounds out of baby days and into childhood. Every day he is a new person. With each milestone he hits, I mourn a little for the baby he was, because I will never see that baby again. But at the same time, I look forward each day to meeting the child he is becoming. Every day really is a new adventure, and I welcome it with open arms.

Happy Birthday N!

Spring greening...part 1

The snow is melting, finally, and the trees are beginning to form those first tentative buds.  The past week has been sunny, dry, and relatively warm, in the mid-40s.  It's time to start cleaning and greening.

I aspire to crunch, but being a modern girl and a city dweller, it doesn't come naturally to me.  I harbor a secret love for the smell of Clorox, the squeak of a Windex-covered paper towel, and the convenience of those little wipes in a plastic can.  What woman doesn't love a freshly sanatized house, and what parent doesn't understand the attraction of swipe-and-toss cleaning supplies?  But in my heart of hearts I believe that we all should lessen our impact on the world.  I also cringe at the thought of N crawling on freshly bleached floors.

Right now T and I are not doing so well with the whole "green" thing.  Yes, we breastfeed, cloth diaper, and I use family cloth in my bathroom.  But we use mainstream soaps and cleaning products for the most part, and we probably go through a roll of paper towels every day, thanks in no small part to N.  So, my main project for this spring is to switch to natural shampoo, soap, and house cleaning supplies.  I'd like to get as close to eliminating our paper towel use as possible, and I'd like to fnd new homes for all of our old junk rather than just tossing it.

First on the agenda:  paper towels.  The best way I can think to replace them is to buy cleaning rages, and keep them in a box on my kitchen counter.  I could buy fabric and hem it, but I don't own a sewing machine (and would have nowhere to put one if I did).  Maybe cheap wash cloths from Target would do?  Something like this would be nice, but I balk at the idea of paying $5 for a single sheet.  Back in the day, my mother kept a stack of old Gerber flat diapers for miscallaneous cleaning tasks.  Maybe that's an idea wirth looking into.

Next up: natural cleaning.  Now, I know some people swear by Seventh Generation goods.  I'm sure they're perfect for some, but not for us.  They're awfully expensive, and I haven't found that they work extremely well.  I want to do right by Mother Earth, but I also want to do right by N, and having a dirty house isn't an option.  I like Method products, but I'm not sure they're really all that natural.  Maybe now is the time to experiment with baking soda and vinegar.  The same goes for replacing shampoo and soap (baking soda), those lovely little wipes (tea tree oil and vinegar), and Tilex (baking soda and a little backbreaking labor).

In the pursuit of green, I'm hoping I will also find my floor and furniture.  De-cluttering is tough when you have a little one around, but it badly needs doing in the Earthy house.  I tend to forget to fold the laundry, thinking that time with N is more important than an unwrinkled shirt.  While this is true, there's also a line, and we're toeing it.  It's time to step back.

Check back soon, dear readers, for Spring Greening part 2.

Wool over my eyes

Have you ever heard that using cloth diapers saves money?  I'm sure it's often true.  Certainly, buying a small selection of cloth diapers, which you can wash and reuse a seemingly infinite number of times, should cost significantly less than constantly buying disposables.  Even though most cloth is size specific, and must be replaced with a larger size as the child grows, the savings should still be con considerable.  In most cases I'm sure it is considerable.  Unless you start using longies.

Longies are knitted or crocheted woolen pants that are used in place of a diaper cover.  That is, you put the child in an absorbant (usually cotton) diaper, then put the longies over top of this.  Because longies are treated with lanolin, they keep moisture in while still allowing air to flow in and heat to flow out.  Brilliant, right?  And though they tend to be a bit expensive ($60-80 is the average price, in my experience), you really only need two or three of them, as they can go weeks between washings due to the amazing properties of wool.

But as you descend deeper into the world of longies, you begin to see that you have entered a clever trap.  A cute, colorful, time and money consuming trap.  Longies are just the start, the gateway drug, if you will.  Next come shorties (for summer), soakers (for nights), skirties (for the girly-girls), interlock pants (for the track suit look), and even frilly little knitted capri pants.  You realize that each of these items (for the sake of brevity I will continue to use "longies" for all) comes in an endless variety of sizes, colors, shapes, and patterns.  There are recycled longies, made out of old adult sweaters.  There are longies with stripes, landscapes, symbols, animals, flowers, and even faces on their behinds.  You can even get longies that look like tights.  Longies can cost anywhere from $5 for a recycled pair, to close to $300 for a very popular and intricate design.  Even buying used, as I always do, it would not be difficult to drop $400 or more in single day on just a few pairs of longies.

So, as you might have guessed, I've been doing a little shopping.  N is growing out of his current stock of covers, and I'm making the switch almost entirely to wool.  Even buying used and mostly recycled, I have already spent $140 on longies and shorties.  For a frugal (to be charitable) soul like me, that's quite a hit, but I have two shorties, three longies, and a night cover coming my way.  Hooray for fluffy mail!  As addictions go, I suppose this one isn't a bad one to have.  Now if only I could stop window shopping for baby carriers...

I don't mean to discourage anyone from trying cloth diapers, of from using wool covers.  Cloth truly is an expensive or as inexpensive as you want it to be.  I only want to warn those of you who might be contemplating cloth, that this is an addiction you might never cure yourself of!  In any case, I highly recommend that every mama (or daddy) thinking of starting up with cloth register over at Diaper Swappers.  Cloth diapering mamas treat their cloth like gold, so it's easy to buy used, but nearly pristine, cloth and accessories of all sorts there.

A new year, a fresh start

This will be a year of many changes, almost as many as last year.  In 2008, we moved to a new home, had N, T started a career change, and I finished my A.A. degree.  This year N turns 1, I start substitute teaching, and finally begin my doula training.  I have my workshop with DONA on the consecutive weekends this month.  I'm barely a week away from my first day, and very excited.  I have been interested in the process of normal birth since long before my pregnancy, so I'm very pleased to be taking steps towards helping other women achieve it.  I also hope, of course, that having a mother who is a doula will help teach N that birth is not an illness, and that it is a natural and beautiful part of life.

But the news isn't all good.  My DONA workshops are just the start of my time away from N.  While completing my A.A., I was able to either bring him to class, or take evening classes so that T could be in charge while I was away.  Now that I'm leaving community college and heading to a university, and to a double major plus honors minor, I'm beginning to see that child care is going to be an issue.  I have always felt strongly that I want to be a stay-at-home mom to my children, at least until they are old enough to attend school.  My heavy schedule at the college, however, is not going to allow this.  I'm scrambling for a solution to our child care problem, and at the same time I'm mourning the loss of my time with N, and of my dream of being a stay-at-home parent.  I have to weigh N's needs now - a young baby who still primarily nurses, and who is very attached to his mama, and in need of her attention - with my need to finish school soon, and our future familial and financial needs.  There are no easy answers, and my heart hurts at the thought of the changes that are about to take place in N's life, and in mine.

Every night, after N falls asleep, I spend a little extra time cuddling him, stroking his hair, and enjoying a few precious moments to gaze in wonder at what I have made.  Already so big and strong, he changes rapidly each and every day, and I know soon I will not be around to see all of those changes.  Will I miss his first steps?  His first word?  How many of his smiles will I never see?  How much of his delightful laughter will warm the heart of a day care worker, instead of his mama, who so desperately needs that warmth?  I find myself mourning for the missed moments before they have even occurred.

Tomorrow, I think I will leave my laptop closed.  The books and magazines I read in bits and snatches throughout the day will stay in their stack.  Tomorrow I think I'll take N for a drive, find a nice park, and introduce him to all of the bushes and trees and birds and squirrels who live there.  I will roll in the snow with him, laugh with him, and leave with as many photos and wonderful memories as I can.  The time really does go by like a blur, they really do grow faster than I ever imagined, and each moment should be treated like the precious gem that it is.  By the time he's grown, I want to have a fortune in these gems, so I'd better start saving for now for the rainy days ahead.

Happy All-idays!

Wishing each and every one of you a joyful holiday, no matter what holiday you celebrate!

Peace on Earth, Good Will to All!

In the bag

I'm a reusable bag junkie. I have big ones and small ones, colored and patterned ones, some for groceries and some for produce and mesh ones and cloth ones and recycled plastic ones. I probably own about twenty of them. And they rarely make it as far as my car, let alone the store.

Today, after stashing a bunch of bags in each of our two cars, I finally remembered to bring them into the store. I carefully chose three bags and two produce bags, knowing that I only needed a few things, so three bags would be plenty. But of course, I ended up buying more than I had intended. The grocery store happened to have holiday lights on sale, and we happen to need holiday lights, so I loaded my cart them. The three bags would work, but it would be a tight squeeze.

When I got to the checkout, I bagged my own groceries, as usual. I try to bag my own so that they're packed well, and to use the fewest number of bags possible. But today, I just wasn't fast enough. I bagged everything but the bread and eggs, intending to put them on the top of two of the bags, but the cashier grabbed them before I could. Into one plastic bag went to eggs, and into another went the bread. What the heck!? I'm pretty sure a loaf of bread can sit on top of a hard paper carton of eggs! I know this, because any other time I have had my groceries bagged for me at this store, that's exactly what the bagger has done. It's like he needed to make up for the reusable bags I brought today by using extra plastic.

It's a minor gripe, I know. Two bags rather than one, when most times I take all my groceries in plastic. But it's not just me - spend enough time on crunchy parenting boards, and you'll hear numerous stories of cashiers refusing to use cloth bags, of putting things in plastic bags before loading it into reusables, of customers handing the bag back to a cashier so it can be used by someone who needs it, only to see the cashier throw it away. The prevailing attitude - that reusable bags trendy, and make no real difference - is appalling. Plastic bags are epidemic. According to the EPA, in the United States over 380 billion plastic bags, sacks and wraps are used each year. Worldwide, almost 1 million are used every minute.

To combat this, I'm making a promise. Starting today, I will load my reusable bags into my car each day. They'll stay in the front seat, where I will remember to use them. All of the plastic bags currently living in a wad in my kitchen cabinet will be reused for something, or recycled. I have been bringing home about close to 40 plastic bags every month, between groceries and other shopping trips. That's close to 500 bags every year - with holiday shopping it probably is 500. If I reduce my bag usage by just half (though I'll be aiming for no bag use, of course), and three more of you agree to cut your bag use in two, we can eliminate about 1000 plastic bags every year. Who will take up the cause with me?