Marching on...

My summer off has been bittersweet. With our finances in a shambles, we were unable to take a vacation, or even many day trips. Fortunately we live on a park, so we made up for it by spending almost every day playing outside. N is probably too young for The Met, anyway. We had a lot of fun together and came out feeling somewhat refreshed, but it ended all too soon.

Now the weather is changing, and daily life is changing too. We're well into the school yer, and this year all three of us are at school - T as a teacher, me as a student, and N as a brand new daycare child. The transition has been tough on all three of us. T is teaching SAT prep classes in the evening this year, and subbing during the day. I have my heaviest class load yet, and several extracurricular activities. N is in daycare twice a week, all day long, and with father-in-law the other days. I feel like we never see each other any more, and I can already feel the toll it's taking on our connection as a family. N is a different baby already - less relaxed and smiley, more likely to scream and cling, less interactive and interested in his world. But I have no choices left in this. I have dropped him down to as few days of daycare as possible, and he's still becoming increasingly listless.

Two and a half months. Only two and a half more months until my hardest semster ends. In mid-December we can reconnect, N can leave daycare, and maybe T can take a week off so we can spend some family time. I look back on our empty summer days now and see all the opportunities missed. Could I have taken N to the playground more? Should we have skipped that TV show and played a game together instead? Maybe I could have run those errands another day, a day when the sun wasn't shining and the park wasn't calling to us to come explore. But those days are over, and I missed those chances. It's time to live this day, to make sure we don't miss any of today's chances. It's time to go grab N, give him a snuggle, and play a game. Opportunity calls.